


Worth

by CherryBerryKomainu



Category: Puyo Puyo (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mental Issues, Implied mental illness, Opening Up, Support, Talking doesn’t fix everything but it still helps, These two mean the world to each other okay?, Trauma, angsty, headcanons, kind of, supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26168332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryBerryKomainu/pseuds/CherryBerryKomainu
Summary: Amitie’s happiness is finite, like all things in life, sometimes it’s hard for her to understand that that’s okay.
Relationships: Amitie/Sig (Puyo Puyo), Could be seen as gen - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Worth

**Author's Note:**

> Important notes! This is shares lore and Headcanons with SW but does not appear in SW canon.
> 
> Also, in this fic, and in a lot of my other fics but in this one in particular I headcanon Amitie as having Autism, ADHD, PTSD/C-PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, DID, and Imposter Syndrome. So if you want a little context for why exactly Amitie thinks the way she does in this fic, here’s some, not explanations but... I guess indicators as to why.

Sig knew something was wrong the second he opened his door and saw Amitie.

There was nothing physically wrong with her, at least not in terms of injury, but her eyes held an almost dead sadness and she didn’t frown so much as she simply didn’t smile.

It was a weekend, around afternoon, so Sig kind of assuming nightmares were out of the question… maybe Amitie got in a fight with Sasha?

Either way, the blue haired boy wordlessly invited Amitie inside, and she stepped in, taking off her shoes without a single word. It was eerie, she seemed defeated, nearly blank. 

All Sig could really do was guide her to the coach and unpause the show he was watching as he sat next to her, because at this point, he had nothing to really go off of besides the fact that something was deeply wrong.

Even with the TV on, the silence was suffocating, not once had his friend ever been this quiet, nor had she ever been so still and vacant, she stared at the TV but didn’t actually see it. No reactions, Sig even waved a hand in front of her face, nothing.

The only thing stopping him from asking was fear, an irrational kind of fear that stole his voice and filled him with an impatience akin to awaiting for someone to come out of a serious surgery. A useless impatience, fearful and frustrating.

Finally, finally, Amitie moved, it was a small movement yes, as she simply folded her hands in her lap and looked at said hands. But it was something.

A few minutes later, she opened her mouth, closed it, and then spoke;

“Sometimes… I’m scared of telling you about my past.” Her voice was tired and defeated, as though Sig had forced the information out of her. “Sometimes I’m scared to tell you about what bothers me at night.”

Sig lowered the TV’s volume, giving Amitie his full attention. Seemed this was the kind of situation where he simply had to listen and wait.

“And it makes me feel like a bad friend, like a hypocrite, because I always tell you that you can tell me anything, that I’ll always be there for you… but I don’t trust you to be there for me.” Those last few words stung, really badly. But it was clear to Sig that Amitie NEEDED to let this all out, this was something she had been sitting on for awhile.

“Not because of you… but because I…” Amitie fidgeted with her fingers. “I don’t trust myself… I think out of all the people I know, I trust myself the least…”

She closed her eyes and sighed, slightly frustrated.

“And I want to tell you why, sort of… I mean most of the reason I want to tell you why is because I feel I need to, because that’s what healthy people who trust their friends do, and that’s what I’m trying to be… but I don’t, I don’t want to acknowledge the past with you, I want to separate the Amitie before Sig and the Amitie after Sig permanently. Because… If I do that…

I hate myself a little less.”

Sig froze, did… did he hear her right? She…

Amitie hated herself?

“...The reasons I hate myself don’t make a lot of sense, in fact a lot of them are silly, a good chunk of them aren’t even my fault.” She continued. “I tell myself that, but it doesn’t stop how I feel, it doesn’t take away the anger, the disgust, the guilt… it… actually makes me feel worse… because I don’t want to be like this, I really don’t. I know everyone sees me as the ‘happy one’ and I like that, I want to be seen that way. Being happy is good, I like happy…”

What, exactly, was he meant to do? 

“But I can’t be happy all the time, I know that… yet I still hate myself when I’m not happy, when I falter I reprimand myself, shame myself, insult myself. I hide it because the thought of anyone, especially you, Sig, seeing me as something other than being the ‘happy one’ terrifies me.” Amitie turned to look at him, somehow still empty, her words were scarily hollow.

“What does that say about me, Sig? The fact that I’m too scared to let my best friend in the whole world know even the smallest bit of how I really feel? Doesn’t that make me a bad friend? An unreliable person?”

“I… don’t think there’s anything wrong with being afraid to be vulnerable.” Sig said. “It’s a scary thing to do, and it takes time…”

“What if it never happens though?” Amitie asked. “What if, as soon as I finish talking, I pretend like I never said anything, completely ignore any attempts you make to talk about it, and never say a single word about this ever again? Would you honestly be okay with that?”

Sig sighed. “... No. I wouldn’t be okay with that at all, in fact I’d be really mad and upset if you did all that.” He said truthfully. “I probably wouldn’t forgive you for worrying me so much and just… acting as though nothing happened, as if what you’ve told me isn’t a big deal.”

“So, what you’re saying is, our friendship basically hinges on whether I open up to you about all the things I don’t ever want to talk about or not?”

“No, Amitie that’s…” Sig rubbed his temples. “That’s too extreme. I’m not asking you to tell me everything, but I am asking you to… tell me when you’re not okay.” He explained. “You don’t have to tell me why, I won’t push it, in the end it’s up to you to decide what I get to know about you… but now that I know what I know… I want to know when you’re in a bad place so I can be there for you.”

Amitie blinked. “You… won’t get mad if I refuse to tell you why I’m upset, you don’t mind the fact that you’ll be comforting me with no real way to actually help or fix the situation?”

“I’ll be comforting you, that’s helping.” Sig smiled softly. “And I don’t mind doing that, you’re my friend, and you’re always there for me, even when I’m in a bad place and don’t want to talk about it. It would be hypocritical to say that you can’t do the same.”

“I… guess that makes sense.” Amitie said. “... I’m sorry I can’t say that makes me feel… better. Honestly I hate this, like a lot. I know that if I want to get better I have to talk… but I can’t help but hate it.”

Sig turned off the TV. “Do you… want to talk about something else?”

Amitie shook her head. “No I… could… could you please… hold me?” Emotion returned to her face as she blushed slightly, most likely embarrassed.

Without a single question, Sig held the girl in his arms, relief flooding his system when he felt her relax in his grip.

“Thank you..” Amitie said softly.

It took a little while before she started to speak again.

“I… I… when I was younger… before I came here… I didn’t know who I was… I felt like an imposter.” She explained. “Sometimes I still feel that way… something bad happened to my family when I was really young, and it kinda… broke everyone? I guess… dad became really cold, sis started to hate me, and my brother cut me off… I… I was sort of punished? For being outgoing and happy, I mean… I wasn’t hurt or anything… but if I smiled too widely or acted too cheerful, I’d be given the cold shoulder, or ignored, sometimes sis would actually yell at me.”

Sig began to rub calming circles into her back, holding his tongue as to avoid insulting his friends family.

“I don’t hate them, I don’t like what they did, and I don’t think I can ever forgive them, but they weren’t… we… none of us were, healthy, Sig. Not even me, we weren’t in the right headspace… it doesn’t change the fact that by the time I came here I didn’t really have an identity, but I can’t bring myself to hate them when I know it wasn’t like they could really help it…” Amitie didn’t cry, but she sounded really torn up.

“I...I’m sorry Amitie.” Sig said softly, hoping that was good enough, passable.

Slowly, Amitie wrapped her arms around Sig, nuzzling him.

“I’m… before I met you, I didn’t have any friends, and I was prepared to never make a friend ever… so when you agreed to be my friend… you brought me back… I don’t think I could ever be the Amitie you know if it weren’t for you.” 

Sig felt a few tears well up in his eyes.

“So, thank you. You’re my best friend in the whole world and you, you mean everything to me, you literally saved me from myself… I’m, words can’t really express how grateful I am, or how happy you make me…” Amitie admitted. “When I smile wide, when I bounce around, when I’m silly, when I’m just myself without shame… you’re why. You allow me to exist… and because of that, I want to make my existence enjoyable, I want to truly treasure it, just like how I treasure all the other things you’ve given me…”

“It’s the same.” Sig choked out, extremely glad that Amitie could not see his face, and also grateful he was a silent crier. “I had no human friends before you, and I didn’t expect to make any. I came to Primp expecting to be completely miserable unless I was with my bugs or studying magic… and then, you came along, you accepted me without question, liked me, called me your friend… I wouldn’t be me without you. That’s… that’s why I tell you when I’m upset, because I know you want to be there for me…” He hoped saying all this was okay. “So… I’m telling you now that, I want to be there for you, you can treasure this and still express negativity, okay?”

“Okay, I… I don’t think I can do that right away, but… thank you Sig, really.”

“Anytime.”


End file.
